i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
