I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Are we still banned from the library?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
