I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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