NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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