you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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