Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
third nipple confirmed
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
