Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
