I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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