he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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