why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
