The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
