he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
