I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
