Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
