I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
i out mim tonsoeep
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
