dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
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