i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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