you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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