oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
