No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
