Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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