I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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