so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
