we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
