remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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