This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
