I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
