i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
