I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
