Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
