I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
