seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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