A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
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