Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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