I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
