I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
