Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
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