she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
