I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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