Tell her she can't have a vagina
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
