he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
