Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I believe in your delicious
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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