WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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