Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
