You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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