Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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