he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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