Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
