I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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