And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
foreskin is a definite game changer
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
