it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
